Tides of Change

It seems to be about this time every year, at the beach, when I get a feeling I want to write something on my blog. The reality is, it is this time, when most of my other duties pass away for a blessed 2 weeks, that I have time to sit and think. It was this time last year that I felt the Lord calling me to trust to him one more year of homeschooling. It was a challenging year. A year where I saw many successes and much growth in both my children and myself. There were academic accomplishments, personal achievements, as well as growing pains. I am happy we gave it another year. I love having my children around me--even though I need a break sometimes. There are a lot of things I love about homeschooling. There are things I don't love as well. That comes with the territory of being human, I think. There are always a set of challenges to overcome, whatever state of life you may be in.

Last summer, and the deep calling I felt, was only the beginning. I have been on a journey of learning to trust and surrender, and submit. Over the last year, I felt the Lord moving my heart to make some changes, some seemingly subtle changes, other changes, fairly big. It's pretty hard to explain a year long beckoning, but the short of it is this. I felt the Lord calling me to a deeper stage of trust. Trust in Him. Trusting in my husband, whom God put in my life. Being submissive in a very Christian way, to my husband, who loves me and my children and is made to LEAD us. God speaks to me so gently, but ever so persistently. I hear him in the Mass readings. I hear him through my devotional readings, I hear him in my heart through prayer. I hear his voice through conversations with friends. While my heart was being led to this point, I felt the tug of desire to "let it all go." Fear was holding me back. Fear of changes, fear of the unknown, fear that what I had done all these years would not add up. At the same time, the Spirit was moving in my husband as well. My husband is a very successful sales leader, and he leads many people to much success at work. During a conversation we were having about homeschooling and just about the peace in our household, he humbly asked me to trust him, as his sales people trust him, to hand this decision (about our homeschooling, as well as some other decisions)over to him. It was as if a weight, almost imperceptible up to this point, lifted from my shoulders. I knew God had been preparing me for this moment for quite some time. My husband said, he didn't know what his decision would be, but that I could trust him. The freedom that small "yes" brought was exhilarating.  Over the course of the next few months, I was to be tested by my own emotions and the reality of what that "yes" really meant.

I am what you might call a control freak. I like to know what is going on. I am a planner. To let go of the control was, I think, one of the main things God requesting.  As the conversation and pendulum of decision swung back and forth between homeschooling and sending the kids to school, my heart and life felt like it was in the balance. (Sometimes on the brink if you get my meaning!) There was so much to consider. Which children do we send? All or a few? Where do we send them, if that is the choice?(the schools we like were 30 minutes to 1hour away!) What would life be like trying to balance the extracurriculars after school time? Some of our children did not want to even CONSIDER going to school, while others were ecstatic over the possibility. We visited the school we had chosen, admitting to ourselves that it was not perfect and that there would be things that we would not necessarily like. But I came to the conclusion that God is the protector of my children and their souls WHEREVER they are educated. And it was essentially my pride that told me otherwise. I had put God into a box, and while the homeschooling scenario(one which we may return to at some point) is a beautiful choice, it is not the only one God blesses. We decided, it was time to enroll the kids. We at first enrolled the four oldest, leaving me only with MG, but after some further prayer snd discussion, we decided to keep Cait home again for the time being. I am at peace. Words of wisdom that trickled down to me from a fellow homeschooling mom(which came from a experienced homeschooling consultant) "Homeschooling is a wonderful thing, but one should never homeschool at ALL COSTS." These words came to me after we had announced to my homeschooling community that our older 3 children would be attending school in the Fall. It was certainly a balm to my raw soul, as it is hard to take on change of this magnitude.

Fast Forward three months, and here we are, squeezing the last bit of summer from the year. In fact the kids' first day of school is NEXT WEDNESDAY! Due to a last minute scheduling change by the school district, our vacation overlaps! They will depart for their first day(albeit SUPER early) from the beach. We have nerves, excitement, and some anxieties, but mostly I am eager for this new chapter in life(I hate that cliche but it fits). Honestly, I don't know how I am going to handle the driving (2 hours a day), the lunch making, the balancing of sports and activities, piano, dinner, homework. But I trust that it will fall into place, and become the new normal. It will be ok. My kids will be ok. And God's plan is always better than our own.

I got to thinking about God's plan, and his will. I thought about how hard it was for me to give up control to my husband, but once I did, the peace washed over me in waves. I know that is what God wants from me. Not my will, Lord, but yours be done. Come Spirit, draw me into the ocean of your peace.

Today...

Outside my window...

It's an overcast kind of day. Cool and rainy.

Giving thanks... 

Thankful for being "needed." For a lovely slow Sunday morning. For the promise of Jesus in the Eucharist. For happy children belting out Frozen songs. For a sweet niece, that always has upbuilding words to say about everyone. For conversations with my husband, and the hot breakfast he made our family. For a fun gymnastics season, and for Anna's wonderful accomplishment of nailing her back handspring. 

I am thinking about...

Discernment, what it means, steps it requires. How to listen to the Lord speak. Especially in how to discern between things that are not necessarily clear choices. Thinking about how to simplify: home, school, life.

In the Schoolroom...

We've begun to read aloud again. Embarrassingly, we just completed a book which we started....(cough)....last summer. I think reading aloud is so beneficial...but I have been held bound too long by a syllabus. Praying for freedom from this very thing. I want to hear the Lord speak simplicity into our daily lives, and I think this requires a return to basics. Possibly an upheaval of our current way...we'll see.

From the kitchen...

My handsome husband, nourishing us with his Sunday breakfast!! A little planning going on...I realized that MEAL PLANNING needs to take a front seat. It is going IN the planner. Thankful for a stocked fridge, and a plan this week. Rosamary Lemon Pork tenderloin is on the menu for tonight.

I am creating...

I made a sugar scrub this week. I am also creating a "plan."

I don't ever want to forget...

Silly girl...and the mess of living.

The gentle love of a brother.

A girl and her daddy.

Sisters and best friends.

Mary Grace "playing" clue (much to the chagrin of Aidan). How she says "glasses" (gashes) and grabs them off my face and says "Aan-na". Caitlin saying "squishy squishy squeeze."

I am working on...

Working on goals and steps with my husband. Working on making my new awesome planner work for me! I'm loving seeing my Erin Condren planner....the loveliness and fun of it makes me want to use it!

I am reading...

Cutting for Stone Abraham Verghese --Lots of medical speak...but intrigued by the underlying story. I have a few others on my kindle to finish as well, before my library loan ends. I am also reading In Conversation with God which I love. 

I am praying...

For a plethora of intentions. Friends and family that are carrying heavy crosses. Crosses I have never known. For discernment, for quiet in my spirit. For Madeline who'll be making her first Reconciliation this week. For Anna preparing for her Confirmation.  

Praying for healing and the grace to detach in order to SIMPLIFY.

I am struggling...

To know how to simplify without "giving up." To know the difference between letting go of stuff just because I am sick of it, or because God is leading me there.

I am hearing...

All the kids talking and laughing and generally having a great time.

Clicking around...

Absolutely LOVING this series on rest from Sarah at AmongstLovelyThings. I HIGHLY recommend it.

I am also enjoying my husbands stealth return to Facebook to drop me little love letters. I have missed him there.

Around the house...

I am seeing so many things that need to be done. Countertops that should be cleared and de-cluttered, bookshelves that need to be thinned. Drawers that need to be trimmed. Deep breath, God is in this chaos.

One of my favorite things...

Hot coffee in the morning. Next to brushing my teeth, this is pretty much the FIRST thing that needs to happen in the morning.

A few plans for the next week...

Anna will take her Peabody test, Madeline will make her first Reconciliation. I will leave for a retreat and reunion with College Friends. 

Chicken and Dumplings...and a feeling of "Home"

One of my all time favorite dinners as a kid was my Granny's Chicken and Dumplings. It oozes comfort when you eat it and smells like home when its cooking! This stuff is "down-home" cooking at its best! (Plus, I read somewhere that if you can make a good soup, you can cook anything. True? Who knows.)

Being at Granny's for dinner was always a treat. (And NOT just because you knew you had a good shot of following it up with some strawberries dipped in powdered sugar!--life was so simple as a kid!)
There were so many good dinners to look forward to, but after a crisp fall day, or on a freezing cold winter night, Chicken and Dumplings was the best.

When I got married, and prior when I was in college, as well, my Granny began giving me all sorts of recipes.  I made many of them in attempt to hone a skill that was now necessary in my life. Feeding myself, and my new husband! I would scour the recipes she sent me, in hopes of re-creating great meals of the past, and some tasty ones she would find from the latest cooking shows or magazines. Every time I cooked, I had questions. I called her frequently. In fact, I probably had her on speed dial. She, having been the "main" person who taught me what I knew about  most things food related, helped bring me into my own, while I attempted any number of foodstuffs.

One such time was a chilly fall evening, probably during my first year of marriage. I set out to attempt a lovely pot of chicken and dumplings. My husband, having not been born in Kentucky, aka the "south," was not too keen on the fact that I would not be putting noodles in his chicken soup. But I pressed on. I called Granny to ask her to tell me how to make Chicken and Dumplings, she gave me the recipe, walked me through everything, and I was off. I cut the veggies, put the seasonings in, the broth, chicken, etc. Now for the dumplings...SIDE NOTE: I had written out the recipe for "Drop biscuits/Dumplings." You just had to make few changes to achieve one over the other. Well, I mixed the dumplings(or so I thought), then dropped them by spoonful into my steaming soup, put the top on, waited 12 minutes--all the while hearing in my head, "do NOT take the lid off! Do NOT take the lid off for TWELVE minutes!!" Okay, so I didn't. While I waited I set our little table for two. Bowls, napkins, spoons, drinks. Good. BEEEP! The timer!

"It's ready, honey!" I say. We sit down. I take the lid off. Something is not right. My whole entire soup was filled with....a thick floury mess, not soft puffy dumplings. It was gross looking and it was inedible. I immediately begin to cry--I was a new wife. My husband, loving, caring man that he is. Says, "Oh, I am sure it will taste fine!" Well, it wasn't fine. I can't remember exactly what we did eat, but I do know that it wasn't chicken and dumplings!

I learned 2 things that night: 1)Don't try to make dumplings out of drop biscuits (and vice versa), and
2) always have a backup plan. Oh, and I don't think, even 11+ years later, I EVER put the lid on my pot after dropping my dumplings in, without throwing up a quick prayer to St. Zita, patron saint of homemakers. Ever.

Fortunately for me, and all those in my family, Chicken and Dumplings has turned from failure to a big success in my house. In fact, every one 3 out of the 4 "eating" children (Aidan will eat almost nothing that has anything green in it) LOVE this meal. It has even been requested as a birthday dinner! Now, you KNOW you hit the yummy dinner jackpot when that happens!

Granny's Chicken and Dumplings

The Soup:

3-4 ribs Chopped celery
3Chopped carrots(I like carrots in mine, so maybe i add extra)
1 chopped onion
Olive oil
Salt, Pepper
Seasonings(such as thyme, sage, tarragon, Poultry Seasoning) I
1 qt. Chicken Broth/Stock (Homemade is great, but not necessary)
Chicken, shredded or diced(to your preference--this is a great time to use leftover chicken, or rotisserie, but fresh is fine...just add and cook through, then remove to shred)

Sautee the vegetables in a soup pot(I use my Dutch oven, because we love each other, but you can just use a soup pot with lid) Olive Oil until soft
Season with salt, pepper, and seasonings(I like Poultry seasoning myself-although a blend of fresh and dried, is nice)

Add stock, and add shredded chicken(If raw, cook for about 15-20 minutes, or until cooked through). After the cooked chicken is added, check for salt and seasoning. I usually give a few more pinches of salt, pepper, and seasonings here. TASTE. You cant always depend on "amounts," you have to taste your food. That's why the old adage: "don't trust a skinny cook" exists, or maybe it's not, but you get the point. You can also add water at this stage. I find I had about half as much water as stock. But you can do one-to-one if you want. Simmer for about 15-20 minutes. Taste and season again. You are ready to add dumplings.

The DUMPLINGS(big yummy FLUFFY dumplings, no hard little flour balls here):

1 cup All Purpose Flour(Now, I am a BIG proponent of all things whole grain, but I dont mess with these)
2 tsp Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/3-1/2 cup milk(your "batter" should not be soupy...start with the lesser amount)
1 egg

Mix flour, baking powder and salt in medium bowl. Lightly beat egg and milk together. Pour the milk/egg into flour, and mix with a fork or spoon until just mixed. Don't over mix. Let sit for a minute or two. Then into your slightly bubbling soup, drop by tablespoonful into soup. Until batter is all gone. Your "surface" should have little lumps of batter covering it now(They'll float to the top after dropping them in).



IMPORTANT STEP: put lid on and DON'T REMOVE for 12 minutes. Set timer. (Here say your prayer to St. Zita. Go on, do it. Okay)
After your timer rings, take your lid off and see how beautifully puffy your dumplings are. You're welcome. They are tremendous things, aren't they?
(I have learned that I am not the best food photographer, so if this picture is not appetizing, I assure you, it is photographer error!)


Okay, now, ring the dinner bell and dig in!! You'll thank me, well my Granny, later.

Cupcake Wars

As part of our homeschooling co-op, we do a spin on Food Network's Cupcake Wars. Thanks to a super neat mom, who thinks of all sorts of fun things to do, she instituted this fun event last year. (Interestingly enough, she also teaches a Forensics Class and a fun Geography Class that my kids love!) Anyways, it is our first year participating in the Cupcake wars at co-op, and each of the kids decided that they wanted to do it. (I can't say I shared their enthusiasm...But what the hey...we decided to jump in!)

After many days of scouring the internet, my oldest found "the" cupcake she wanted to do. A cute little beach scene complete with a sunbathing teddy bear. Aidan decided on little monsters, Mads chose cookie monsters, and Cait rounded out the competition with owls.

After a trip to walmart to procure all the necessary items, the kids painstakingly waited for their cupcakes to cool. We were ready to get started! But WAIT! There was one very important rule...MOMS CAN'T HELP! Wait, WHAT!?!? I can't help? Oookaaay...you mean, my four year old is to be given free reign in order to complete the cute little cupcake that we just spent precious time to pick out? I can't even cover that bare spot of cupcake top that makes the owl look like it has a receding hairline? NO? Okay. Well, for those that know me, letting go of control is a a wee little problem I have. But now that we have ungodly amounts of colored sugar, marshmallows spilling out of my pantry, and  countless Oreos have been perfectly separated, we decide to press on.

Third place winner, grade 3-5

Obviously, when you have 4 children that are going to attempt the most beautifully decorated baked creation ever, while trying to keep the nursing baby from screaming her head off, you decide to divide and conquer. Madeline went first.
Me: "okay sweetie, I will "model" this cupcake for you. Pay attention to the way I hold the cupcake, how much Icing I use, see...I just dip gingerly into the blue sugar? Ok, your turn.
Maddie has a go...I interrupt the procedure once or twice(or 13 times), to make a "suggestion" all without touching it, and without wincing. If you had forgotten, let me remind you, I have issues. Control issues to be exact(although that is clearly not at all exhaustive of a list of my issues, as my husband, friends, children will tell you.) Anyway, I digress. Madeline, even without my help, *gasp* made an adorable cookie monster cupcake.

Third place winner Pre-K-grade 2

Caitlin surprised me with her ability to completely ice a cupcake, apply big owly eyes, and a little beak. I was shocked. I know now, that I do not allow her to do all she is able to do! Lesson learned! Aidan decided on the cute little monster cupcakes below. A whole tray of these looks adorable...unfortunately they were not destined to win any prizes. :(

The "creating" scene was pretty much the same all around. Except for Anna of course. She really was awesome the whole way around and she needed little to no direction at all. Although, those darn paper umbrellas are ridiculously hard to find. I went to 4 different stores. Why don't people want to make themselves and their drinks fancy with a little paper umbrella? There were plenty of cocktail swords, little frilly toothpicks, but no umbrellas. Anyway, it was a close call, but Awesome Hubby and Father Extraordinaire showed up after going to another store and delivered them just prior so that Anna could adorn her cute little teddy bear with some much needed shade!

Well, we got to co-op and after much coaching and "remember, we are proud of our work no matter what" speeches, the kids turned in their creations. After a few short hours, the "judge" showed up...he was a guy who owns a local orchard/bakery shop. The votes are cast.......and they are in!

The winners are......drumroll please!!!!

Anna got THIRD in her category, grades 3-5, out of about 12-15 entries, and Caitlin took THIRD in her category, grades Pre-K -2, out of about 10-12 entries.  THEY WERE THRILLED! As was I, of course. Although, Aidan was sad.

All the kids were rewarded with the chance to sell the other 4 cupcakes they had decorated and brought, and of course they got to pick out and eat other people's creations. They were happy to see all their cupcakes sell out rather quick!

Okay, well this post was almost as exhausting as the cleanup of the cupcake decorations! I guess that sweet, cuddly cute baby of mine, and her keeping me up ALL NIGHT, is wearing on me. I need to get some sleep! Tomorrow is monday, which means, another week of homeschooling! It's not for the faint of heart people! But it sure is worth it. I pray that I may be an instrument of God's love to my husband and children this week. And I pray that you can too! Whether you homeschool or not, God Bless your week! A great reading at Mass today: 1 Corinthians 13. Read it today. It's more than just a good reading for a wedding(although it is that!)