Braving New Waters

There are so many new possibilities at the beginning of something. All your hopes and dreams and ideals loom at the horizon and you feel a prick of excitement. You have a voice in the back of your head that reminds you that obstacles and problems that are sure to arise, but the promise of the good things pushes you forward. I am standing at the edge, staring into an ocean of possibilities. I am walking away from the known. It is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.

The above may seem an exaggeration once I expound. But to me, it is not. I am a rule-follower by nature. I like to have checklists and books and curriculum plans to tell me I am doing it right, that everything is going to be okay. Recently, however, I have felt more and more "bound" by the lists, enslaved by the curriculum. My children have not fit neatly inside the box like they "should." My children, much to my chagrin, are not "readers." Meaning, they do not devour book after book after book. (like their mother) This is a bit hard when much of the aforementioned curriculum is a LOT of reading. So, instead of continuing to try and stuff my children into a box in which they do not fit, I am choosing to meet my children where they are, trying to teach educate the child, and form a strong foundation for life long learning. Isn't that the goal of education? Not to make them able to spit out facts, but to help them be life learners?

Of course I have questions, concerns, and doubts. I am praying non-stop for guidance, trying to make the best decisions I can for my family. As a homeschool mom, I always find myself seeking the advice of very seasoned homeschool moms; moms who've graduated several children and seen them off to college, married, with children of their own. This is always helpful and there is always a lot of talking me down off the side of the building. But I find there is never the "perfect" piece of advice. There is never that person who knows EXACTLY what I should do--and that is because no 2 people walk the same exact paths. No 2 people wear the same proverbial shoes. And further, no two homeschools will look alike. The old saying, "comparison is the thief of joy"(sorry, wish i could give that a credit), holds very true, and is a great reminder when I am feeling overwhelmed. It is SO easy to think the grass is greener everywhere you turn. I know that that is not the case. As my sister in law always reminds me, when I am particularly freaking out, "if you were to send your kids to school, you would just be trading one set of problems for another." I think this holds true for so many things.

As a homeschooling mom, it is easy to overthink EVERYTHING! To compare yourselves to your friends who OBVIOUSLY have everything perfect and are raising little Merit Scholars and will be sending their children to the best colleges on full ride scholarships, while you just grasp and hope your child can read and write his/her name properly.  Haha...but no, seriously. Sometimes it feels like that. And every time you let a "well-meaning" neighbor/friend/family member, have their say or question what you are doing, it is tough not to second guess yourself. But alas, I have forged through those murky waters for far too long. (I am feeling a little Let It Go coming on...now i am singing...sorry, i digress) I want to slough off that feeling of inadequacy and shout, "I KNOW MY CHILDREN!! I KNOW WHAT THEY NEED--even if I can only pinpoint that they are not getting it--yet!! And even if their education doesn't look like your child's, rest assured I have done more research, more agonizing, more praying and more scrutiny about what he/she needs to succeed and be educated than what seems humanly possible!!" It feels oddly freeing, and somewhat  alottawhat terrifying, to go against the flow. That's okay though. I still have question marks to fill in. I have been poring over my schedule, and something doesn't feel quite right yet. I am praying through that. I trust that I can get it figured out in the next few weeks. And, heck, if we start a little shaky, I am hoping that we'll just get into our groove, and that things will smooth out on the way!

This is WHO it is all about.

I think, for my own frame of reference, I will write a little planning post soon. To outline how I am changing things up. I am a person who likes to see things in writing. It helps it to sink in. That is why I think I love reading other people's planning posts too. I am going a bit more classical in approach this year. Even though MODG is considered a classical curriculum, it is somewhat difficult for me to make that work for all my children all at once going in so many different directions. So hopefully this year, will bring us all together a little bit more. In the meantime, I am following some great posts over at Schole Sisters and  I have been following Sarah at Amongst Lovely Things for awhile and it was her series on Teaching From the State of Rest that really inspired me to take a hard look at what wasn't working for us.

Education doesn't have to be about books and facts and test scores. In fact, I would argue that it SHOULDN't be about those things. I want my children to be virtuous, diligent, hard-working, moral individuals, who have learned to see the Truth, Beauty and Goodness in our world. Who can be a person who not only seeks those things, but is able to be a beacon for those things in this world. In fact, I want to be that type of person too.